Another rookie ref to mentor last weekend. A 17-year old officiating his 2nd game for the Dutch FA. He kindly called me to say he was 10mins late and where we could meet.
He did the usual checks: pitch, players and AR’s. We met the latter in his dressing room and got thumbs up from both assistants for his clear instructions. Continue reading “Playing with your watch – Rodric Leerling”
Last week, I met an old business acquaintance, and as always we talked about the different people we have met in life. The ones we worked with as colleagues or whom we reported or sold to. Some you will remember your whole life, whereas some others you really try to forget.
I mentioned a mental list I’ve drawn up of different kinds of ‘business ducks’. Starting with the ‘Odd Duck’ and the newly created categories to the extreme: ‘Funny’ and ‘Psycho’. The Odd Duck are just funny and OK to work with, nothing special. They pass and you stay in touch on LinkedIn or Xing.
But you will remember the ones in the ‘outside categories’. My friends for life are often made in the Funny Duck category. People you connected with, whom you shared your dreams and fears. The ones you told you were becoming a father, or that your mother just died. They would do the same to you and we would just hug or ‘high-five’ on Skype, depending on the situation. I’ve still got many friends in business whom I know well, even when the direct business ties are gone. It’s just good to talk to them again, or preferably meet in person when you are around.
The business relations that will also stay with you for life, despite efforts to delete them from memory, are the ‘Psycho Ducks’. The people who were just interested in themselves and their career. Who didn’t want to talk about the relativity of things and never showed their emotions. Or worse, the narcissists who think the whole world orbits around their pitiful person. Who bullied other people, including yourself, played with contracts and didn’t keep their promises. Showing their domination, often with a high IQ but mostly with very little EQ.
Funnily enough, the lists on both ends of my business spectrum are quite evenly filled. I’ve once started writing down my mental lists and they showed a good balance. Well, that’s life, I guess. One thing I learned from all this: always try to stay the Funny Duck yourself and make new friends, keep doing business with the unavoidable Odd Ducks but learn to avoid the Psycho Ducks.
If I Googled you, what would I find? No, not just you, digital immigrant and experienced adult as you are, but much more should we ask this question to our children. Do they fully comprehend they left a big digital footprint already, ever since the moment they started hitting images on computer tablets and mobile phones?
In fact, from the moment we all started moving around the online world, we are leaving tracks and traces of our activity just all the time: think of social media accounts, the popular tagged images, your professional presences, scraps of text in mini blog platforms like Twitter and Facebook. And there are items we don’t even realize we leave behind, such as search activities and web browsing. Profiles are being drawn of us and data are gathered while we type in names, numbers and characters. And don’t forget the comments you made on other people’s views, the restaurant views or hotel experiences you uploaded, and the tagged pictures posted during the holidays.
So, unless you are not using social media platforms, having an online presence should be considered as a normal part of our digital lives. And leaving a digital footprint is very important as it will help to present yourself in support of your resume or LinkedIn profile. Everybody is active online, but few people today are aware of the picture it offers to others while checking you out. So make sure your online presence is correctly representing who you are. Get the balance between your professional and personal presence right. Let the digital footprint actually work for you, creating a positive first impression when your name is Googled.
Really, Google is the new background check. Better make sure your online reputation is in line with who you are.
I started listening to one of my recently subscribed podcasts The Fizzle Show (FS211). For starters I learned I should start labeling myself as Indie Entrepreneur: people who are “creating businesses to live life on their own terms”. The confirm that “yes, it’s amazing, it’s difficult, but it’s also possible”.
The podcast show is designed to help Indie entrepreneurs growing their small and solo businesses. Those people like me who are running their independent living, not looking to eventually become internet millionaire, but enjoy the business freedom and be free to change or add different projects. Using and improving their talents in another way.
The second learning was by listening to their show guest Vanessa Van Edwards teaching about the Science of Personality. Use your unique voice to positively influence the world. To put it simply: you can’t appeal to everyone. By behaving that way, you in fact won’t appeal to anyone and waste tremendous amount of energy faking things while saying ‘yes’ to everything. Where is your energy to say ‘yes’ to only the good things?
It taught me there are more personal types than just intraverts and extraverts – how about an ‘ambivert’? Very interesting to realize you can even be both, switching between these personality traits, depending on the situation, depending on who you meet and deal with. In fact, the majority of us have both introverted and extroverted tendencies. The direction ambiverts lean toward varies greatly, depending on the situation. The way you deal with different situations and how social you are is largely driven by dopamine, the brain’s feel-good hormone.
People with a natural high level of brain stimulation tend to be introverts—people who try to avoid any extra social stimulation that might make them feel anxious or overwhelmed. On the opposite, there are people with low levels of this brain stimulation and who tend to be extroverts. You will notice in social interaction like with networking events – the under-stimulation leaves extroverts feeling bored, so they seek social stimulation to feel good.
I realize I might be an ambivert too. What to do? It seems that the trick is knowing when to force yourself to lean toward one side of the spectrum (extra or intra) when it isn’t happening naturally. Will keep that in mind at the next networking event!